The Ideal Café

Try a tasty starter
We'll consider barter

Bathrooms open to all
Addicts, use dedicated stall

Respect us, we'll respect you
Service, our calling true

We're paid a fair wage
So be a wise sage

No weapons, no insults
or actions bearing their designed results

No screams, no snobs
No inconsiderate slobs

Tell us if the toilet's in tatters
and other such matters

We are here to make your day
at the Ideal Café